We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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