Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
