I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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