i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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