I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
True strength comes from lack of pants
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
