Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
