You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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