It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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