You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
