You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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