Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
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