Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I will be naked everywhere
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I forget how to act sober
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