I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
