glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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