this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
