Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
