SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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