Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
