I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
