Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Houston, we have a squirter
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
