okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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