i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
