brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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