I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
