when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
