if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We don't watch enough power rangers
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
