Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
