got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
