I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
