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I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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