I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
