She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
