i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
