like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
