He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
