weddingsv make me drug and hornr
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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