Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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