i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i think i have two assholes
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
