i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
