I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
