So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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