i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
