i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
