lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
