my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
