apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
