moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
