she looked like the bat from fern gully.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
