Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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