This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
