erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
